Thursday, September 02, 2010

This is No Great Illusion

School started about two weeks ago. Honestly? I was fucking terrified. I haven't been in school for almost four years, so a thousand questions and concerns were running through my mind. Would my instructors like me? Would there be too much homework? Can I even still write a paper? How embarrassing, I thought, would it be to fail a class I've already gotten an A in?

Alas, I seem to be doing well. Because my courses are self-paced, I'm at least a good week ahead on all of my assignments (three weeks in three of my courses, rather.)

This semester, I'm taking Art History: Prehistoric Through Gothic, Art History: Renaissance Through Contemporary, History of Western Civ 1865 to Present, and Universal Themes of Humanity. I'm really enjoying what I'm learning so far. The difference this time around is that I'm really seeing the value in the education I'm getting and I'm grateful to have this opportunity to go back to school. Around the time that I dropped out, I seemed to be getting caught in the common trap of "Oh, I'm on my own now...let's eat ice cream for breakfast and build forts!"

Don't get me wrong, I love a good couch-cushion fort, but having a second chance to get my degree is amazing and I'm taking care to ensure that no amount of frivolity distracts me from that. I don't want to fuck it up this time.

Sidenote: maybe it's the teacher's pet in me, but when I received feedback on my first HUM201 paper, I got such an obnoxious twinge of excitement when the instructor told me I did a fantastic job and she was super impressed with my ideas and execution. Nerd moment over, let's move on.

This semester is very important. When I left school, my record was in shambles. My GPA dropped to a pathetic 2.6. 2.6? FUCKING SRSLY? That's just depressing. That being said, however, if I am able to secure a 4.0 this semester, and a 3.0 next semester, my GPA will be prepared to a much more reasonable standard. If this happens, I'll feel much more comfortable in my collegiate pursuits because I won't feel like I'm walking around with a giant "I'm a Stupid Loser!" sandwich board anymore.

In other school news: I've started compiling all of the individual documents requied for my applications. It's...scary. But SO amazing.

In non school news: one of my shows is listed on the front page of Holy. cow. I've never gotten this kind of exposure before. It's such a jarring experience to go from being a marginally known character who paints in the district to being regarded as a legitimate and respected artist in Phoenix as a whole. It's really a humbling experience to receive acclaim from people I admire and respect just doing what I love to do. It's so...surreal. I feel very lucky.

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