A few days ago, I had this strange, heavy feeling on my shoulders. I couldn't shake it, this weight. Having experienced more than my fair share of anxiety in my twenty-four years, I couldn't understand this particular breed of restless loneliness.
And then it hit me. Fun.
I was no longer affording myself the opportunity to have fun. Fun. It was that simple. I made a promise to myself that there would be nothing but good times from here on out, and I'm holding myself to it. Just because I'm buckling down and focusing on school and my career doesn't mean I have to sacrifice my emotional well being. Spending time with Xchel, Shane, and Clif has been wonderful and refreshing and I hope it continues. I'm enjoying the company that I keep and working hard not to worry too much and overanalyze things. It's been nice, the past few days, to be able to reflect on the day and declare it a good one.
I've confirmed participation in another show for October, bringing the total to 4. In terms of the goal I set back in July (12 shows before the end of 2010), this brings the total to 9. Whether I meet my goal or not, I'm really proud of the work I've done recently. I can wholeheartedly say that I truly put myself into this work. I'm so happy about that.
Life's not so hard. It's time to cheer up.