It Was Like Being Seventeen Again.

The initial hope for this blog was to write every day. While I haven't posted every day, I do, oddly enough, open the publish screen every day and stare at it. I worry about self-repeating, writing about the same concerns, rather than focusing on the progress (no matter how minute) made on these issues and the goals I'm setting for myself.

I saw Gretchen on Monday, and it was exactly what I needed. I'm still unsure about the course of action from here, but seeing someone I love and getting the needed affirmation of the good in life was necessary. I'm grateful to have so many creative cheerleaders, and that reminder was enlightening; it gave me the hope and confidence I needed to forge ahead.

Being a list person, I decided my only way out of this educational mire I've put myself in was to list. Thinking long and hard about the potential impact my decision would make for each respective school, I listed. And listed and listed and listed and listed. Until my list muscle ached. I edited out schools due to weather, cost of living, school's emphasis, and so on until my list of 400,000 schools was a slim, but respectable six.

1. MICA
2. Corcoran
3. RISD
4. VCU
5. SMFA-Boston
6. Temple

MICA is my number one school, hands down. It's got the emphasis I want in the area I want. Every aspect of going to Baltimore for school is appealing to me. I feel good about the other five schools on my list, and I would be honored to attend any of them. In terms of the bigger picture (weather, neighborhood, transportation, cost of living), though, Baltimore is the city I want to be in.

Now that that's settled, I can address my next concerns. MICA has one of the lower acceptance rates of all the schools I'm applying to. At an average 37%, it's not as low as Temple (7-20%), but not as high as SMFA (92%). I've come this far just learning through observation. Watching and listening to my dad for 20 years, living and working in the arts district, and challenging myself has really afforded me the kind of knowledge I don't think I would have/could have gotten otherwise. I'm confident enough in my ability to challenge myself creatively, and to take on a 37% acceptance rate.

The other, more disheartening problem? For the Spring semester, MICA sends admissions notifications on December 18. For those of you keeping score, that's 3 months after other schools' admissions notifications, and 2 weeks before my departure. I don't know what to do in this regard. At all. Help. Seriously. Could really use some guidance here, in case I'm being too subtle.

While I would be pleased and honored to go to MICA, I don't know how to cope with the risk of not getting in, but already have declined ostensible acceptance offers from other schools.

Of course, knowing that money hasn't even come into play yet, I don't think I'm too worried about the financial aspect, which is odd for me. I want/need this so much, that regardless of the cost of attendance, I will do WHATEVER I can in order to make it happen.

As I write this, I feel as if I've written it before. If any of this information is repeated, I apologize to the two people I know who actually read it.