"You can't let fear keep you from being who you are."
Yesterday was strange in an oddly comforting way. I goaded the Torch into doing a secret show after the night's shows as an early birthday present, giving "Morgan's birthday" as the suggestion. I sat in an almost-empty theatre for approximately 30 minutes, watching people I love and respect make wildly astute observations about my life. Some scenes were hard to watch, some funny, some bizarre, but I felt such an amazing connection to all of those people performing at that moment. After the show, one of the performers (who I've recently gotten to talk to and get to know much better over the past couple of weeks, who also gave one of the most uncomfortable and heartfelt and touching and scary monologues I've ever seen) came to me, clasped his hands around mine and said "Don't be afraid."
At that moment, it seemed so simple. Don't be afraid. What a marvelously simple concept. When I got home, I cried. No, I didn't cry, I SOBBED. For hours. So touched by this community's love and unwavering support for their metaphorical little sister.
This morning, I felt like I was in a daze, torn between incredible confidence in what my future holds, and intense sadness over losing this amazing family. Whether they know it or not, these people will forever have a place in my heart, and I will carry the lessons they taught (in class and out) me for the rest of my life. I'd almost forgotten what this kind of love felt like.
Years and years and years from now, this will all be gone. Buildings demolished and replaced with highrises. Licenses expired and never renewed. People departed and searching for something new. But this love for a craft and love for people? That will never die, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I know you all will never see this. But if, for some reason, you do, I love you all. You'll never know everything you've taught me. Thank you endlessly.