Living Well is Some Sort Of Revenge Or Something.

Received the money for the painting sold at Verde this afternoon, which was a little surprising. I didn't expect it until the end of the month, and had just gone in to put up a new piece.

Of course I need the money, but it might have been the first time I wasn't stressing it at all. First time in a long time, at least.

Dealing with some undue stress today, as my ONE employee just quit. I covered for her today so she could be at the cafe, thinking she'd be working tomorrow. I've since come to learn she got a new job and she starts tomorrow. I don't blame her, by any means (she lives in Scottsdale, so the travel alone just seemed a little bit silly), but it's still frustrating. Even still, I'm torn. On one hand, it'd be nice to get some extra hours in and get a little ahead on bills before school starts up. On the other, I have so much work to do in the way of my portfolio and shows and school applications and moving and I NEED A BREAK. My time away from work is spent painting, writing, thinking, analyzing, researching, and planning, and I wish that I could afford (monetarily and time-wise) to take a little vacation. When I get bogged down like this, I just have to keep reminding myself that it will be worth it. It WILL pay off someday.

In regards to art, I'm trying to experiment more. One of my big critiques from SMFA and MICA was that I tend to waver between abstract and reality, and that I need to work outside of acrylic. I've always been drawn to mixed media, but tended to avoid certain media (oil, watercolor, ink, and pastel, for example). My goal for July is to experiment with different media. I started on an oil today, and just like I remember, I fucking hate it. I feel as though there's nothing I can do with oil or watercolor that I can't achieve with acrylic. I've made the choice, though, and I will begrudgingly commit to it. Regardless of my initial frustrations, I think the work I'll be putting out for the next few months (and potentially thereafter) will be unlike any of my existing work, for the most part. My show at Practical Art is already starting to show elements of sculpture and textiles, so I'm confident that the work will be to my liking in the end.

There's quite a few styles and techniques that I haven't taken to for whatever reason, and I fear that I just got comfortable in acrylic. I don't want that complacency in my art, so it's my responsibility to do new things, be it foreign conceptual territory or a medium that isn't my forte. I guess we'll see what happens.

It Was Like Being Seventeen Again.

The initial hope for this blog was to write every day. While I haven't posted every day, I do, oddly enough, open the publish screen every day and stare at it. I worry about self-repeating, writing about the same concerns, rather than focusing on the progress (no matter how minute) made on these issues and the goals I'm setting for myself.

I saw Gretchen on Monday, and it was exactly what I needed. I'm still unsure about the course of action from here, but seeing someone I love and getting the needed affirmation of the good in life was necessary. I'm grateful to have so many creative cheerleaders, and that reminder was enlightening; it gave me the hope and confidence I needed to forge ahead.

Being a list person, I decided my only way out of this educational mire I've put myself in was to list. Thinking long and hard about the potential impact my decision would make for each respective school, I listed. And listed and listed and listed and listed. Until my list muscle ached. I edited out schools due to weather, cost of living, school's emphasis, and so on until my list of 400,000 schools was a slim, but respectable six.

1. MICA
2. Corcoran
3. RISD
4. VCU
5. SMFA-Boston
6. Temple

MICA is my number one school, hands down. It's got the emphasis I want in the area I want. Every aspect of going to Baltimore for school is appealing to me. I feel good about the other five schools on my list, and I would be honored to attend any of them. In terms of the bigger picture (weather, neighborhood, transportation, cost of living), though, Baltimore is the city I want to be in.

Now that that's settled, I can address my next concerns. MICA has one of the lower acceptance rates of all the schools I'm applying to. At an average 37%, it's not as low as Temple (7-20%), but not as high as SMFA (92%). I've come this far just learning through observation. Watching and listening to my dad for 20 years, living and working in the arts district, and challenging myself has really afforded me the kind of knowledge I don't think I would have/could have gotten otherwise. I'm confident enough in my ability to challenge myself creatively, and to take on a 37% acceptance rate.

The other, more disheartening problem? For the Spring semester, MICA sends admissions notifications on December 18. For those of you keeping score, that's 3 months after other schools' admissions notifications, and 2 weeks before my departure. I don't know what to do in this regard. At all. Help. Seriously. Could really use some guidance here, in case I'm being too subtle.

While I would be pleased and honored to go to MICA, I don't know how to cope with the risk of not getting in, but already have declined ostensible acceptance offers from other schools.

Of course, knowing that money hasn't even come into play yet, I don't think I'm too worried about the financial aspect, which is odd for me. I want/need this so much, that regardless of the cost of attendance, I will do WHATEVER I can in order to make it happen.

As I write this, I feel as if I've written it before. If any of this information is repeated, I apologize to the two people I know who actually read it.

Years for String

Working very hard to avoid stress right now. The show at Space 55 has yet to be confirmed, but I'm hanging Verde and Sweets and Beats this week. As much as I love the stress of a deadline, it's so rewarding to be know the show is titled and hung. I have enough work for both venues, but the notion of picking pieces that are appropriate for the space is frustrating, for some reason.

The paperwork for my solo show at Practical Art has been turned in, and now I just need to get an image e-mailed for their promotional material. The nest and egg for my centerpiece is done, just need to finish the base that holds it, attach the nest, and get a print quality image.

The Torch Theatre is going dark until their grand opening, which makes me very sad. In talking about this with the owner of Space 55, he proposed an interesting opportunity to me. I was mentioning how I'd like to help 55 with the tech aspect of their operations, and Bob proposed having me design and build a set, then he would write a story based on whatever set I design. I'm really intrigued by this idea, but I don't know if it would actually be feasible to accomplish in my time left in Phoenix. Regardless, I've started writing a piece for the 7 Minutes series in October. I guess we'll see what happens.

Outside of that, there's an ongoing list of characters that Gretchen, Dawn, and I came up with during the random Craftprov rehearsals we used to have. I'd been stewing on these characters for months, wondering what I could/should do with them, and then it hit me: children's books. I'm hoping to have the first one done by August, which should give me plenty of time to get the story and art together.

Work has been mildly stressful. I really love my job, but my anxiety is just painful at this point. I'm hoping to be approved for health insurance in the next week or so so that I can finally get to the doctor, which will hopefully remove my stress and anxiety, or diminish it to a manageable level at least. All of this planning I'm doing for school is basically hanging on the notion that I'll be approved for health insurance.

Time to Get Serious.

Lots of errands today. I have to go to the bank, get some photos, contracts, and school applications printed at FedEx, open a new top-secret bank account at BoA to start saving money (and because I got hit with $170 in fees at Chase, and I can't afford to pay them right now. It's unfortunate, because I'm trying to be responsible and keep my life on track creatively, mentally, professionally, and financially, but I just can't afford to pay those fees, and I need to have access to a bank account for my student loans, work, and art sales.)

My dad's got some fun paints he made a while back, so I have to go pick those up, along with some more of his jerryrigged woodglue, which he keeps in old Coke bottles. It's things like that that completely remind me that we are SO related.

I've only had the fortune to get to the Art Museum since it was renovated twice. It's really a beautiful museum, so I'm hoping I can get these errands done and applications filled out, then make some progress on these paintings so that I can take advantage of their voluntary donation hours.

No rest for the wicked, I s'pose.